Can you stare death in the face and live to talk about it? Allison Futtner, a young female funeral director from Connecticut, not only stares at death every day, she makes it look pretty. Death is so difficult for many, that I was intrigued about the decisions that lead a confident woman to the industry of helping others with it. Allison sheds some light on her experiences, advantages, and the difficulties of her job below.
The fact that Allison was born on Halloween is just another reason I think her life should be written into a YA novel. Irony I love you.
No, this is not a sequel to The Human Centipede. No, this is not a commercial for your crappy local carpet store. Yes, this is about a man who rolls himself up in swaths of pashmina rug and relishes in the pain and pleasure of people -preferably women – preferably beautiful women- preferably beautiful women in stilettos- stepping and dancing all over his body(crotch included.) However, one particular afternoon it was me who rode on this magic carpet ride. It isn’t what Aladdin imagined,but it definitely was a whole new world.
New York City is an incredible place for a lot of things…Fall isn’t one of them. While the rest of the Northeast is “leaf peeping” (a term that makes me violently uncomfortable), and humming along on tractor-drawn hayrides through uneven but charming orchard fields, picking crisp firm apples and shapely pumpkins to carve, New Yorkers continue to brunch. Bloody marys are for forgetting Fall-time FOMO. Growing up in Connecticut my feelings for pumpkins are border-line carnal, so it’s unacceptable to me that nearly everyone in the city has lost interest in the great Fall past-time of carving. You could imagine how stoked I was to discover Maniac Pumpkin Carvers, where the tradition is not only alive and well, but on steroids.
There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those who enjoy the light kick a DNA sample of Tabasco provides over a fresh egg scramble, and those who smother a hellish rain of hiccup-inducing habenero onto shitty happy hour wings. Regardless, the hot sauce landscape has been migrating away from haphazard supermarket choices to small-batch craft varieties, and at the helm of this revolution is Noah Chaimberg( right top photo) and Tyler McKusick ( left top photo). Noah and Tyler are the world’s first hot sauce sommeliers; and while the titles are self-appointed, when I met up with them at their Brooklyn-based hot sauce tasting room and storeHeatonist, they gave me every reason to believe they’re well-deserved.
My first Diego Discovers journey lead me into the heart of Wall Street where I met Xanax in human form; Ali C, New York City’s first professional cuddler. Right off the bat I realized why she does this successfully for a living: she’s the nicest human being on the planet. Was professional cuddling now an excuse for both male and female creeps to pay $80/hr to spoon with a stranger? Maybe. However, Ali explains to me, while under a down comforter, that it’s a lot more than that.